Stupid Crooks steal fake cell phones in Mexico

MORELIA, Mexico – Call it the case of the dead cells — both telephones and the ones in the brain. Employees at a Telefonica Movistar cell-phone store in Morelia, Mexico say they arrived Tuesday morning to find that the store had been broken into.

An examination of the shop revealed the only items missing were hollow replica phones for display that are completely useless for making calls.

Employees say the clueless thieves overlooked real cell phones and cash in another part of the shop.

Store owners nonetheless reported the theft to local police, who are investigating.

Stupid News|Mexico tells citizens to swallow their gum

MEXICO CITY – The country that gave the world chewing gum is getting gummed up: The average square yard (meter) of Mexico City sidewalk has 70 blobs of discarded chew. Now Mexico is responding with innovations ranging from expensive sidewalk steam-cleaners to natural chewing gum that breaks down quickly. It's even telling its citizens to swallow their gum. More...
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Mexican warlock predicts US troops on border

MEXICO CITY – Mexico's self-proclaimed "Grand Warlock" says the United States will pull troops out of Iraq in 2009 and send them to the border with Mexico in an attempt to expand its territory.

The prediction from Antonio Vazquez comes with a word of warning though: his record of projecting the future is spotty at best.

Vazquez has been making predictions since 1980 on events ranging from international events to the private lives of celebrities, based on his reading of tarot cards.

Vazquez erroneously predicted last year that oil prices would be stable and that Cuba's Fidel Castro and singer Britney Spears would die. This year, he says Spears will continue to triumph.

World's heaviest man marries in Mexico

MONTERREY, Mexico - The world's heaviest man has tied the knot. Manuel Uribe, who hasn't left his bed in six years, married his longtime girlfriend Claudia Solis Sunday in northern Mexico
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Stupid News-Prophylactics swiped from Mexico condom-mobile

MEXICO CITY - Missing in Mexico: 5,000 condoms, sound equipment and a motor used to inflate a giant prophylactic, all stolen from a "condom-mobile" used to promote HIV/AIDS awareness.

The coordinator of an HIV/AIDS awareness tour, Polo Gomez, said the truck was taken Sunday from its parking spot in front of a friend's house in Mexico City.

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It was recovered Wednesday in a shopping mall parking lot in a northern suburb — minus the condoms and the equipment. Gomez said the thieves left some 800 HIV tests and a 23-foot inflatable prophylactic, which were also in the vehicle.

The truck wasn't hard to locate. It features painted images of a peeled banana, the exposed part shaped like a condom, and a shirtless man saying: "I protect myself. Do you?"

After the theft received widespread media coverage, residents phoned police with the vehicle's whereabouts, Gomez said.

The Condomovil program has toured Mexico since 1998 promoting safe sex practices while distributing 1.2 million condoms to more than 700,000 people, Gomez said. The inflatable condom was used to draw attention from passers-by.

The group bought the truck with a grant from Mexico's federal Health Department. The department also donated the 5,000 condoms that were stolen.

The United Nations AIDS program says there are some 200,000 people living with HIV in Mexico.

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