10 Funny Late Night Political Jokes – July- 2009

10. "Yesterday, of course, on Fox News commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." --Conan O'Brien

9. "Finally, tomorrow, President Obama has his big beer summit with Professor Henry Louis Gates and Sergeant James Crowley. Yeah, that's a great idea. In my experience, the best way to settle an argument between guys from Boston, just add alcohol." --Jimmy Fallon

8. "Members of the Senate are considering a tax on cosmetic surgery. When they brought it up, you should have seen the look that Nancy Pelosi's face tried to make." --Conan O'Brien

7. "And Joe Biden's pretty busy. Today he went out to get a keg." --David Letterman

6. "To ease tensions, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the police officer who arrested him to join him for a beer at the White House. And if that works out, Obama's going to have Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu over for Jaegerbombs." --Conan O'Brien

5. "President Obama is hosting a delegation of 150 Chinese officials in Washington. Among the questions the Chinese have for the U.S.: 'What's your military policy? What is your stance on global warming? And where's our money?'" --Conan O'Brien

4. "People say, 'Well, what will the Governor do now?' And I'll tell you. She's going back to her old job as perfume spritzer at Nordstrom." --David Letterman

3. "Over the weekend, the President of France fainted while jogging. First of all, what kind of president of France is jogging? He should be smoking!" --Craig Ferguson

2. "And then in the spirit of this, I thought it was nice today, Rush Limbaugh called up Professor Gates and Officer Crowley and he invited them over for some OxyContin." --David Letterman

1. "The White House press secretary, Robert Gibbs, said that Twitter is now blocked on every White House computer. Gibbs said: 'Sorry, I will not give a specific reason on why we are blocking Twitter. This concerns international White House … O.K., it was Biden. He was playing around again.'" --Jimmy Fallon

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David Letterman Top 10 of Governor Mark Sanford

David Letterman's Top Ten Surprising Facts About Governor Mark Sanford


10. Began last "State of the State" address, "Yo, what's happenin', mama?"
9. Promised his wife he'd be faithful within the 48 contiguous states
8. On Facebook, lists his relationship status as "It's complicated.
7. Becoming disgraced governor ruined his dream of becoming disgraced President.
6. Hoping scandal will get him out of attending in-laws' Fourth of July cookout.
5. Was sick and tired of Eliot Spitzer holding title "Love Gov."
4. Often gets fan mail intended for Redd Foxx.
3. His goal in life is to commit adultery on all seven continents.
2. Made it safe for me to joke about Republican governors again.
1. Entered politics because he enjoyed polling