Friday, March 26, 2010

Health Care Jokes

The good news for Republicans is the health care bill covers pre-existing conditions So now insurance will pay for removal of their heads from their asses.

While introducting the President at the health bill signing yesterday, Joe Biden whispered to Barack Obama that passage of health care was a "big f----ng deal." Of course, at Joe Biden's age, a bowel movement is a "big f----ng deal."

Good news for Joe Biden. Insurance will now pay for a lobotomy.

"The Republicans are not happy about the new healthcare bill. Senator John McCain told a radio show yesterday that there will be no cooperation from Republicans for the rest of the year. What a shame to see all that cooperating end." --Jimmy Kimmel

"And of course, a lot of right wingers are very upset about this because they believe this health care bill will cost a lot of money. You know what I think? Just pretend it's another unnecessary war. You'll feel better about it already." –Jay Leno

"Well, as you know, healthcare reform was passed by the House last night. Supporters of the bill say the American people now get the same health benefits that members of Congress get. Now, if we can just get some of their other perks: free travel, envelopes with cash, get-out-of-jail-free cards..." --Jay Leno

"I have been thinking about the healthcare problem and how to pay for healthcare. If you took all the money the Republicans have spent trying to stop healthcare and all the money Democrats have spent trying to get healthcare, we could afford healthcare." --Jay Leno

"Well, today, President Obama signed the landmark health care reform bill into law, or as President Obama refers to it, 'The Rush Limbaugh Deportation Act.'" –Jay Leno

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